Doesn't it seem like some some days (or weeks or months) the sky is falling? Let me explain what I mean. Lately, (it been one of those months) I feel like everything is falling in on me at once-I feel overwhelmed. I have been a hampster running in a wheel. It doesn't help that I am a self-admitted and incurable perfectionist! So, I take on too much, over commit and feel like I have to be everything to everyone and that it all must be flawlessly executed. Super mom, wife, daughter, friend, master gardener, chef, laundress, cruise director, housekeeper, Y.W. leader, party planner, taxi driver, alarm clock, day timer...you name it...I do it...ALL! The list could go on and on. How do I get it all done? And, with a cheerful attitude? Sometimes I feel like if one more person asks me to do one more thing for them, I'm gonna either flip-out or bite their head off or have a nervous breakdown. O.K., B R E A T H E. Overwhelmed, I tell you.
So I ask myself, "How do you simplify? So, that you can enjoy the moments?" Cause, I'm definitely missing a lot of them. I'm simply too busy.
I think I might need a vacation. In fact, Todd and I are most overdue for one without the kiddos. Ahhh...where to go? Tahiti sounds heavenly! Seriously, the beach, the sand, the sun, a daiquiri....instead, REALITY CHECK: I have Stake Youth Conference and Stake Girls Camp to look forward to in June a week apart...not quite the vacation I had in mind. Reality. Stinks sometimes? Don't it? I know, it sounds like I bit into a lemon before I posted this. But really, I just need a quiet place to vent and quite possibly a little validation for all that we are and all that we accomplish as women living in this day and age. It's a lot some months...and some months, the sky is definitely falling! I think I'll run away....FAST!!!
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3 comments:
Cami I hear you I feel the same way. You hit it right on the nose. I feel like screaming and running away too. I wish I could go on vacation also. I wonder why our life has to be so darn busy. There is just not enough time in the day to do all you got to do or want to do. Then the next day is a bran new list with some things added to it from another day. Overwhelming for sure. I have been feeling the same way you have these last few weeks and months that I thought I must be the only one feeling this way, so glad to hear you are also. I wish I lived closer so we can bounce off each other and vent or even run away together. If we decide to come back to Utah this summer, we will have to for sure get together. I would love to see and chat with you. Hopefully we will see the light and our load will start to get lighter. Just know I'm here for you to vent anytime. Love Ya
I can't believe that I'm commenting on this post because we are officially in a fight. Why didn't you tell me all of this the other day when you were at my house?!? Honestly, Cami, how can we be good friends (not to mention letting me be a good Visiting Teacher) if you can't have a good emotional meltdown in front of me every once in a while?!? A memorable breakdown is what binds us together as women. If you are having a tough time - TELL ME, TALK ABOUT IT, GRIPE, B@*%$, AND MOAN - Just get it off your chest (I couldn't bring myself to outright swear on the Sabbath).
Okay, now that the lecture is over, I will forgive you and put an end to our fight if you promise to let me listen to a good breakdown in the future. Deal?!?
My advice - Hire a maid. I realize that this is difficult for a perfectionist to let go some control, not to mention the money, but it has been such a blessing for me. A couple of months ago, I spent the entire day deep cleaning the bathrooms, doing the floors, dusting, etc. so my house was spotless. From about 4:00 until my bedtime I had to lie on the couch because I was having contractions so badly. I couldn't make dinner, help get my kids in a bath, or help put them to bed. I realized that I was expending too much energy doing things that really didn't matter (in terms of family relationships) that I didn't have any energy left to do the nurturing, caring things that I really wanted to do for my family. So, I hired someone to come in twice a month to do the deep cleaning. I can't stand to spend money, but this has been a huge blessing to our family and a HUGE burden lifted off my shoulders. I may not need someone my entire life, but at this stage, it is what I need to free up some time and energy and relieve some stress.
My other advice (which I am not great at doing in my own life and comes from our very favorite "Love and Logic") is actually schedule some time with your kids and your husband and put it on your calendar. Treat it as you would any other "official appointment" like Girl's Camp or a hair appointment. Don't cancel it. And you know what a HUGE proponent I am of time away with just your husband. Get a room in Park City for the weekend if you can't get away for a long vacation. It will be well worth it!
Okay, the only reason that I gave advice was because you asked for it. But, if you ever need someone to just listen and empathize with you, please let me know. You know I love you pieces, and one of the reasons is because I feel like I can be my raw, honest self in front of you and you won't judge me but love me even more for my imperfections. I struggle with everything you said on a daily basis and often go to bed feeling so guilty with how I "wasted" my day not spending quality time with my family but nagging them and getting impatient with them instead. Good luck and please let us know what you decide to do to ease some of the pressure. I think we can all benefit from simplifying.
Love you!
Now how come you let me vent, and you didn't say a word? You know I have been absent from the blogging world for a little while.. You know I know what your talking about. I feel all of those things every day, you didn't even mention working, or trying to work and fitting that in to a day that is already too full.
I hope you are feeling better. It seems to come in waves here ... don't say the word (hormones :) ). I know that's not only it though. I think our mom's don't remember, and we try to be perfect at everything. There are so many things working against us today.
Please, please let me know if I can do anything for you, I mean really know. You always seem to rescue me, and never let me pay you back.
Thanks for the fun the other night, we should do that more often. Love you!!!
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