Excuse Me...

Have you ever had one of those moments when your in a quandry about how to handle a situation...tactfully? I happened to stop by my Dr.'s office today. Before taking the elevator downstairs, I realized I really needed to pee-bad! So, I headed into the ladies room, chose the first stall, occupied. Chose the next stall, also occupied. Chose the middle stall got in just in time to barely get my jeans down in time and do my thing. (Does anyone else have bladder control issues??) I reached over to grab some T.P.-NOTHING, NADA, ZIP, EMPTY not a scrap to be found anywhere!

So there I am contemplating my options. First, I think maybe I could just pull up my pants and forget wiping-which would be totally gross and disgusting. Nope, couldn't live with that choice. Next, Maybe I could pull up my pants and ditch into the other stall when it is no longer occupied and grab me some T.P. PDQ and hope my undies don't get wet. Nope, also not do-able without someone walking into the ladies room and wondering what in the_ _ _ _ I'm doing, running stall to stall frantically searching for some T.P. while trying to keep my pants on and my undies from getting wet. That would be just my luck! Panic sets in. Crap, I'm running out of options!! Somedays, don't you think that wearing a depends would be so much easier? So, as a last ditch effort, I decide to suck up my pride and disturb my "neighbor" to the right. I say, "Excuse me," "Hello?" I lean over and wave my fingers under the stall to get her attention and let her know from where the voice she hears is coming from. Voice from "neighbor" lady, " Are you talking to me?" I hesitantly reply, (hoping she doesn't think this is going to turn into one of those infamous "airport" restroom rendezvous or that I need conversational company while I do my thing.) "Could you kindly give me some toilet paper? I have none in here." She laughs and passes me a nicely folded mound of wonderful, white, fluffy toilet paper. I have never been so grateful as I was at that very moment to see T.P.! We exchange some laughs and some other pleasantries, I flush, wash my hands, and hope I don't have to run into my "neighbor" in person before I dry my hands. Gratefully not. I once again thank her profusly for saving my hiney, (no pun intended) and leave the ladies room pride intact.

Good, Mom's Gone!

Last night, after telling Todd to make grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner, I headed out the door to a Y.W. activity. Ethan asked where I was going and I told him we were going rollerblading. He seemed pretty happy with my reply and promptly said good-bye.

Well, come to find out later, just as Todd came to give me a good-night kiss before heading off to bed, he told me the funniest thing Ethan had said earlier that night after I had left to go to Y.W. Apparently, after the door slammed behind me, Ethan announced to Todd and Cole, " Good, mom's gone! Now we can burp and fart!" Let me translate: That was code for let's get this party started-it's male bonding time! OH MY GOSH!!!! Is this what happens when I leave home?? I refuse to believe Todd is responsible for that kind of comment coming out of Ethan's mouth-or should I wise up?! What the crap??